Nandini Tyagi
Self-love does not work because it alludes to self-doubt being unworthy. When people decided that self love was essential with more than 30 billion views of #selflove on Tiktok we became apathetic. Contrary to the belief that self love empowers rather than invalidates I believe that it is important to acknowledge the dystopia. It is a euphemism for vanity which has been proliferated by social media to the point where the proverbial form of accepting your flaws is a distant memory. This form of self empathy presents itself through the lens of individualism and being a 'girl boss' that stems from the feminist movement gone wrong. Independence is valued above others, with praise for being alone. Lets not forget, we are a species that thrive on social interaction even if our ‘For you’ page tells us otherwise. Tiktok has manifested into reality where we really are not “thriving” and “individualistic” but utterly and completely “ostracized” and “alone”.
Not to say that we should invite self hatred into the chat, having negativity rule and permeate our lives, but living in a fantasy world where you think you are perfect is toxicity at its finest. I believe that self love should be replaced with self-betterment instead of having pseudo positive notions replace empathy with self-adoration.
While all of us want to attain Bella Hadid’s body and Kim Kardashian’s perfectly symmetrical face, self love only amplifies this need by being the driver to fix oneself so that we can love ourselves and be loved by others.
Think of all the times you have thought “When I get a slimmer waist, I will love myself.” “When I get a nose job, I will love myself.” This bending of Own to accommodate unreasonable expectations and capricious beauty standards to have life mirror an Instagram story forces us to run the race of attaining beauty and lose the competition at the same time. You are beautiful. I am beautiful. But there will always be someone even more. Green juice, expensive beauty products and Pilates will not change who you are as a person, just how you feel for a moment before you snap back to reality.
Self love is really not essential, it’s toxic. It promotes apathy and only caring about what you want, no matter what happens to other people in the process. It leaves you utterly alone by manipulating you into breaking relationships in the endeavor of independence. It is less beneficial than it is harmful. Stop trying to add another thing to your list because there is not a better epitome for a trivial first world problem than playing into the hands of people trying to mint money through likes and follows. Self Love is not possible simply because it is human nature to vacillate.
Comments